|Photo: Jimmy Song (jimmysongphotography.com)|
“Okay, I’ve never really been one of those girls who had a lot of friends who were girls and now I do. And that’s pretty cool. So, that’s me, someone else please go.”
- It sounds corny, but be yourself. You want a chapter to like you for who you are, not the person you pretended to be. A lot of girls may try to fake their way through the process only to find themselves with a bid to a sorority that they don’t click with! You really are choosing your home away from home in this process, so be yourself and see where you really feel you belong.
- That being said, put your best foot forward. For recruitment, we workout, do our hair, meticulously apply our makeup, get spray tans, spend a good chunk of change on new clothes… We’re dressing up for you, PNM’s (Potential New Members)! We want you to see us at our best. We expect that you do the same for us. Yes, you want us to like you for who you are. Maybe you don’t wear makeup every day or don’t do your hair every day, but this is the time to dress up. Would you go into a job interview without doing your hair or making sure your nails look good? This is the same thing. Think of it like that.
- Be approachable and sociable. Just like a job interview, this is a few minutes where we decide who you are. Try to put aside the resting bitch face (we’re trying too!), and try to make the best conversation you can. Mention interesting things that you can talk about and create a conversation around. Did you go abroad this summer? Mention that. Is there something interesting about you that you feel makes you who you are? Mention that. Is is something sad, depressing, or controversial? Maybe don’t mention that. Yeah, your shoes are cute, but so are the other 100 girls they’ve seen today. Try to avoid that too.
- Don’t talk about the 3 Bs: boys, booze, and badmouthing. Don’t badmouth other sororities or girls. Don’t talk about how many boys you’re seeing, your ex, your boyfriend, etc. Don’t talk about how much you party. Just don’t do it. It could hit some sore spots and/or rub people the wrong way.
- Do your research. Figure out what sororities are on campus, if you’re a legacy in any of them, or if you know any alumna in any of them. Letters of recommendation are weighed upon pretty heavily during recruitment, so it may be valuable to a PNM to get as many as they can. There is also a lot to know about each sorority, so get to know them a little bit before you go. There are values of each sorority that transcend the individual chapters, like leadership, social responsibility, and sisterhood. Try to find out which values really speak to you. Each sorority also has a different national philanthropy, and there may be some that mean more to you than others. Remember it’s not just for four years, it is for life. What do you want to be connected to for the rest of yours?
- But don’t believe everything you hear. When you start researching chapters, you’ll probably see a lot of stereotypes, reputations, and generalizations. People start rumors for a lot of reasons: jealousy, envy, anger, etc. None of the reasons are good. Some of my favorite sororities didn’t have the best reputations and some of my least favorite had great reputations. It all comes down to who you meet in each chapter. Reputations also change over time and sororities are always trying to improve themselves. You want to be in the house you fit in, not the house you want to be in based solely on reputation. So just try to keep an open mind and get a feel for the overall personality of the girls. Your experience may be different than someone else’s.
- Make your own decision. Maybe you know girls in some of the chapters. Maybe you heard something from someone else that made you wary of a certain house. Just because you don’t like a girl in a certain chapter doesn’t mean you won’t like the whole chapter and vise versa. Maybe you and your friend don’t have the same house listed as your favorite. Don’t let people make your decision for you.
- Don’t get discouraged. Sometimes houses drop you, and it feels bad. Don’t let that affect your experience. Maybe one house didn’t think you were the right fit. There are still other great houses for you to join, and they want you in their sisterhood. That means something.
- Remember that there is a difference between sisterhood and friendship. There are over 300 girls in my chapter and I am not friends with all of them. I know, hard to believe. I have close friends in just about every chapter on my campus and close friends in my chapter. I love all of them. But sisterhood comes down to sharing the same values. Every girl in my chapter brings something to it that someone else can’t. We make our chapter what it is. If I’m struggling to deal with something, I know my sisters will be there. They might not be your closest friends, but they are your biggest and closest support system.
I love answering questions about my sorority, so ask anything if you’re still nervous! I know I didn’t cover everything, but I tried to cover the biggest things. Best of luck and enjoy recruitment!
|Kappa Alpha Theta, Beta Delta|